I read a friend’s post and couldn’t quite complete it…

Is this what it would have felt like to feel represented, by a man?

But alas, my friend, well, you’ll see… we agree.

My honor would be to represent all the peoples of the place we live, love, and play… when we can afford to.

Enjoy your work today.

Comments welcome, including white men…

All else that follows was written by an intersectional male friend, what do you think of his opinion?

“White men shouldn’t bother commenting on this at all.

Regardless of your stance,
I’ll delete it.”

I think it’s unfortunate how insensitive and even distasteful people have been since the news of Kobe dying. It seems to stem from a brutal intersection of oppressed peoples and something that neither side wants to understand about one another.

We live in a man’s world where women are facing innumerable ways they are discriminated against in society and institutionally.

We live in a white man’s world where black men are facing innumerable ways they are discriminated against in society and institutionally. (Not forgetting black women, who have it worst of all. That’s a different conversation)

Black men, maybe rather unsuccessfully, are trying to tackle the racist stereotype associated with the countless occurrences in our history of black men being beaten, murdered, and institutionalized, to this day, for even a perceived offense toward a white woman. The stereotype of black men being aggressive and oversexed. The stereotype that black men are intrinsically rapists. The stereotype exists in our society, so much so, that it has been fetishized and dominates pornagraphy and “swinger” lifestyles. Think about that. I mention that so that black men can try to see a similarity in being fetishized to the fact that women in general are fetishized.

There’s also the issue that black men seem to be denied any opportunities redemption in our society. The perceived lack of consistency in judgment of a black man, ignoring context and understanding of what he had become after committing a horrible act, that’s hard for some people to swallow and it creates distrust and anger because it seems selective. For example, Bill Clinton is a rapist but is never referred to as such and it certainly isn’t the first thing out the mouth of people mentioning him.

Women, I don’t speak for you so weigh in if you like. Correct me and/or add to this. My understanding of why this affected women so much is similar to what’s said above with respect to the stereotype of women are not to be believed, that rape is deserved or somehow a woman’s fault under any circumstance, that women are gold diggers and trappers, and that your worth is tied to your physical service to men.

My understanding is that women live their entire lives watching out for themselves and each other to try and make sure nobody getting raped and/or murdered. Think about that, guys. Black men should really think about that because it’s similar to how black men have to move through society, always on guard, always watching out, using a certain voice or vernacular…..

My understanding is that most women experience rape or sexual assault, even though most don’t report it. And that what happened in the case involving Kobe is why it still largely goes unreported. Just look at the reporter for WaPo and what she’s going through as some context as well. And I understand that women do, and really EVERYBODY should, have some compassion for the woman who went through what she went through and probably still goes through and what must be on her mind as the world has moved on and isn’t acknowledging it while Kobe is celebrated.

While there are differences in how black men, women in general, and specifically white women are treated, with the groups enjoying some small privileges that the other does not, I think it’s most important to see this intersection and understand how similar it is and how it’s really perpetrated by white men. Just saying.

I’ll also say that the callousness and flippancy of the death of a person really disturbs me and those are the same things that disturb me about the oppression of the peoples in focus here and in general. If we don’t value people, if we can’t accept that people are flawed, if we’re callous and dismissive, what are we doing and are we any better than our oppressors who show disregard for us? Don’t these same transgressions mentioned above happen due to a lack of respect for and care for people?

Brandon Higgins, Facebook (posted for friends) 2020/1/29

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